WORLD'S SLOWEST GRANDFATHER IS "KING OF MOST OF THE HILL"
I've never seen Irwindale's track so greasy. Car's were sliding all
over the track. Many like me abandoned their first and some their
second runs after a hundred feet. After an hour of this they shut
down the track and started spraying.
And yet as bad as it was there were still some cars that hooked. How
day do dat? I wanna do dat. My experiment with lower tire pressures
and softer burnouts did not yield any great improvements.
There were eleven cars in King Of The Hill. First round I drew the
bye. That's only because Marvin was not there - he always draws the
bye. Always. I swear he must have X-Ray vision and can see into the
pouch to pick the lucky bead.
Second and third round I got by some good cars with decent RTs. Now
both of these cars are good cars with good drivers. One of them is
known for his 5 something teen RTs. Except when he's racing me. Then
he's known for his 6 something teen RTs.
Funny how that works. My theory is that since my car launches like a
duck the other guy misses the light enjoying the laughter.
Final round was me and Eileen Pandeles - the "Worlds Fastest
Grandmother". The moniker was coined by one of the many TV
interviewers that regularly film at Irwindale now that LACR is
closed. The moniker stuck.
Eileen has a blown big block Chevelle that is on of the five fastest
cars there. Last night she was THE fastest. It's tuned by her
husband John.
Now - Eileen is a real sweetheart. When I race Eileen I find my self
pulling to the line rooting for her. Sheesh!
And John is a good guy too. John has taken an interest in my follies
and offered several helpful suggestions.
So were in the finals and we agree to split the pot as usual with a
token side bet. I offer the left lane knowing it's safer for her
with its straight shut off lane. The right lane has a nasty jog
around the circle track's fence.
Now - I had not made a good run in the right lane all night - I was
a tenth off. Couldn't hook up. I was dialed 7.38 from the last
round. I told John & Eileen that I'll most likely run a tenth slower
in the right lane, but since we're racing for fun I'll leave the
number the same and let er rip.
I cut a 0.520 light and ran 7.485 - a tenth off my dial in.
Eileen went 0.004 red.
Some days you can't even give a race away.
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